Cheesy Pickup Lines
by Kiki Warbler
Summary: Companion piece to 'Tease'. If you haven't read 'Tease' look me up on it-could-happen. Darren and Chris have sexy fun times!


**A/N: I need to thank Rhiannon for this. We spoke about how 'Tease' didn't need a sequel, just a series of one shots with the cards. So I think I'm going to do one and see how the response works. So, here…enjoy.**

**(DPOV)**

Having a sex life with two children wasn't exactly the easiest, but we made it work. Our nanny, Isabella was the greatest Nanny a gay couple could ever have. We knew that we needed a night to ourselves. Isabella was going to keep the kids for a few hours, while I set up a night with my beautiful husband. We'd found the text cards and decided that we were going to use them again. I smiled as I was the one initiating it. Chris and I were on Broadway together. He'd written a stage play for us as lovers, and it had opened to much fan fare and the critics loved it. I knew Chris was at rehearsal, and this was the perfect opportunity to rekindle what we were missing. I took the card out of my pocket and smiled. I read it and knew Chris would love it.

_Seduction 6: _

_Cheesy Pick-Up Lines_

_Laughter can be a great way to lighten thing up…ease the stress of the day…and get your lover in the mood._

And that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to keep him calm, while still turning him on. I opened the card and smiled, reading it. Then I pulled out my cell phone, and typed out the first line of the message. I smiled and sent it, putting my phone down and awaiting Chris's response.

**(CPOV)**

I was having the roughest night of my life. Rehearsal was going terribly. Nobody wanted to take it seriously, and I knew that where I wanted to be was twenty blocks east of here. I felt my cell phone vibrate in my pocket and took it out. There was a picture of a topless Darren and I smiled. I loved that picture. He'd just gotten out of the shower, and I'd randomly snapped the picture. I looked at his text and laughed.

"_Message From: Prince Charming_

_If I tell you tonight, 'you have a nice body' would you hold it against me?"_

I blushed. He'd found the cards a week earlier and we'd wanted to use them. Isabella was watching the kids for a couple hours so Darren could set up this romantic night. And it looked like he'd taken to using the cards. I smiled and played his game. He knew what he was doing, and I was quite okay with that.

"_Message To: Prince Charming_

_I absolutely wouldn't mind that at all. Rehearsal's rough. Missing my husband…and hating it. Love you so much."_

And I slid my phone back into my pocket. We were breaking for lunch in a couple hours, and I was sure I was going to have another message from Darren. He was supposed to be in rehearsals with the band, but I knew he'd be fine on the fly. He always was. I stepped on stage and things were right. I was at home here. Of course, my rehearsal partner wasn't my husband, but that never stopped me before. I always rehearsed with the Understudy and then Darren just stepped in and did it flawlessly, just like he did everything.

**(DPOV)**

I knew I should've been downstairs rehearsing with the band, but I was more focused on making Chris happy. It seemed like we were more focused on work than each other, and we needed to take time to recommit to that vision. We had a little bit of a hiatus coming up, and we were going back to California to see our families. I watched my phone light up and smiled when I'd seen Chris's face, I knew he'd gotten my message.

"_Message From: Snow White_

_I absolutely wouldn't mind that at all. Rehearsal's rough. Missing my husband…and hating it. Love you so much."_

He rehearsed with Angel, who was the understudy for me, and a notorious flirt. Chris slapped him down quite frequently, and I knew that I had no reason to be jealous of them. I smiled and started to send a text back to him.

"_Message To: Snow White_

_I miss you too, my love. I'm supposed to be rehearsing with the band, but just don't feel up to it. Working on us instead. So, it's only a couple more hours, then we'll have lunch together…but first… do you mind touching me later today, so I can tell everyone I've been touched by an angel?"_

I chuckled a bit to myself, because that was a bit of a cheesy line…and as Chris would tell you…that would be something I would say. I put my phone back down on the table and went back to the sheet music I was working off of. I figured since I wasn't with the band, I could at least get some kind of rehearsal done for myself. I was pretty far into it when my phone vibrated on the table. I smiled, because I knew it was Chris.

"_Message From: Snow White_

_That was delightfully cheesy. And it brought a smile to my face. I'm anticipating a hell of a lunch reunion coming. Keep the pick up lines coming, since I take it you're working from the card. I can't believe we found them. I will see you in two hours, love."_

I smiled, knowing Chris and I were made for each other. We loved each other hard, and we loved our kids even harder. But sometimes we just needed each other, and that's why we were taking this break. Penelope had started school and had some time off coming up, and no matter how much our parents travelled to the East Coast, we knew there was nothing like California, and going home. We were based out of California, and we were only back East for the summer months doing this show, and I loved being back in L.A. I smiled, and looked at the clock. Time to send another one.

"_Message To: Snow White_

_Did you know I'm good at algebra?"_

He was going to die over that one. I didn't even like algebra, to be perfectly honest. But this card made me want to be. I dropped my phone on the table and waited for Chris to get back to me. I stood up and walked around the hotel room to make sure things were set while I waited for Chris to answer back.

**(CPOV)**

What the actual fuck? Algebra? Darren can hardly add two plus two to get four. But it was probably from the card, so I knew I had to play along. I grinned and typed back why, knowing I should be afraid of the response I'd get. When I did get my response back, I cracked up laughing.

_Message From: Prince Charming_

_Because I know U+I=69."_

I lost it. I wasn't sorry. Darren was just being too fucking adorable with this card. It was the cheesy pick up lines card. He'd beaten me to it! I was so mad, I wanted that one. But I'd get him soon enough with the card I had picked out. He liked when I got dirty, so I would. But not yet. I smiled and typed back to him.

"_Message To: Prince Charming_

_I'm sorry baby, that made me laugh, and I can't figure out why. But that was pretty cheesy! Cute, but cheesy! Lol. Exactly an hour until lunch! Keep them coming."_

I said, shoving my phone back in my pocket. I grinned and we'd moved on to the bed scene. I didn't particularly like being in bed with the understudy, but Darren wasn't available for rehearsals, so I had to do what I could to make my performance the best. Darren never needed rehearsal time. He was perfect. My phone vibrated again and I grinned, answering it.

"_Message From: Prince Charming_

_Can I write the word 'explosive' on you tonight?"_

Angel was watching me with anger on his face. He knew that Darren and I were married, and I just glared at him while answering Darren why. I wasn't going to put up with Angel's attitude so I looked at him.

"Look Angel, I'm sorry I won't cheat on my husband with you. Darren and I are blissfully happy together. I value my relationship more than anything else in this world, okay? And you trying to get in between that isn't okay. Now, I need to make it through my rehearsal and get home to my husband, you need to stop being a fucking twat. Do you understand me?"

Angel was shocked, but he understood. Though to be fair, I've never called anyone a twat before. Darren would be so proud. As a matter of fact, I needed to text him back my response. So, I took out my phone and smiled pulling up his message and hitting reply.

"_Message To: Prince Charming_

_Why? Side note: I called Angel a fucking twat…"_

And I waited, knowing that things were going to be so much more fun when I went home for lunch. I ran my lines with Angel like nothing happened and waited for Darren to get back to me.

**(DPOV)**

I looked up from my guitar and noticed the buzzing. I picked up the phone and grinned, reading the message. I damn near dropped my guitar on the floor when I read that Chris had called Angel a fucking twat. I was so proud of that mouth. I was in love with that mouth, and it was time to tease him just a little bit more. I smiled and typed out the next message.

"_Message To: Snow White_

_Because, you are the bomb. And p.s. Angel is a fucking twat, I could've told you that, silly!"_

And I waited, knowing that things were looking up. He'd be home to me in forty-five minutes and I knew that we'd be able to play around. I looked at the card and I knew this next one would make him laugh. So, I pulled up his message again and typed part two of what I was going to say.

"_Message To: Snow White_

_Don't be surprised if a fat man wearing red throws you in a bag."_

And I went back to writing. I was writing a song for Chris. He'd inspired it one night last week, while he was just writing something for one of his four thousand screenplays he had going on in his brain. Chris had just been sitting on the sofa, and I had seen angels and softness. Just as I was about to finish the music, and start the lyrics…the text came through. I picked it up and automatically answered it.

"_Message From: Snow White_

_Why?"_

This was making me laugh. I was shocked that he wasn't trying to find his way back here getting rid of the twat himself. I knew that he'd be here momentarily, and if Angel didn't piss him off further, sooner rather than later. So once again, I hit the reply button.

"_Message To: Snow White_

_Because I asked for you for Christmas. There's more where that came from… I'll see you soon?"_

And then sat back, knowing that he'd be rushing out of rehearsal sometime soon. I had plenty of time to wait, and that's what I'd do.

**(CPOV)**

"_Message From: Prince Charming_

"_Because I asked for you for Christmas. There's more where that came from…I'll see you soon?"_

"Alright! Rehearsal's over! We're done here! I'm leaving! Be here tomorrow night! We've got two shows tomorrow. Matinee at 2pm, then the 7pm show! Don't be late!"

I yelled, knowing that nobody would be. Darren was the one that was always late, and that's what drove me crazy. I loved my husband, god I did…but he wasn't the most punctual person on the planet. I gathered up the rest of my things and walked out of rehearsal. We didn't live that far away, and I normally walked everywhere anyway, so I arrived in record time to our apartment. I walked in and grinned, because there was my beloved sitting on the sofa.

"Babe?"

"In here hot stuff."

Darren said. And I knew that tone of voice. That was his 'I'm so turned on' voice. I rushed into the living room to see that Darren was sitting there, his jeans pulled down to his ankles, his cock pulled out of his maroon boxer briefs and his cell phone in his hand. Upon closer inspection, I realized he was looking at a picture of me.

"Is that fun, Darren?"

"Truth be told, Christopher…it'd be so much better if you were in my lap fucking it, instead of standing there looking ridiculously hot in those jeans."

I was gone. And he said that I was the naughty one when I got horny. I immediately slid out of my jeans and boxer briefs and removed my shirts and walked over to him. I sat down on the sofa next to him and grinned. He leaned in and kissed me, humming softly when he did. He then reached down to stroke me and I moaned loudly, he broke the kiss and smiled seductively at me.

"Lay on the sofa on your stomach baby, so I can stretch you."

And I watched as he shifted himself a little bit. He moved off of the sofa, and onto his knees on the floor and grabbed the bottle of lube that was very convienently placed on the table. He lubed his fingers and grinned, kissing my ass cheeks softly, before inserting finger number one. I knew what he was doing, and I loved him for it. He was taking away the pain for me, and the pleasure over rode any sensations of pain I would've had. He kissed me on the other cheek and inserted finger number two. He started fucking his fingers on me and I was a goner.

"Fuck, Dare…with the day I've had…just fucking fuck me…"

"Shhh love, relax. I've got to stretch you, first."

"I don't even care, Dare. Just do it."

Darren brought his fingers out and lubed himself up, groaning loudly as he lubed himself up and slid into me, stretching me further. He knew I liked it rough, and I wouldn't have it any other way. He started off hard and frenzied, just the way I liked it. He grabbed my hips hard and started fucking me at a violent pace, which I absolutely love.

"Fuck me, Dare, that's so fucking good…harder."

"You want it harder, babydoll…you've got it."

Darren said, snapping his hips back and into me with a force I couldn't even imagine. I felt my skin dragging against the leather of our sofa. I'd have some kind of pain later from it, but the sensations running through my body right now…it was sinful. Darren always says my hips are sinful, but his give mine a run for my money!

"Fuck Darren, that's so fucking good…I'm so close. Please, don't ever stop."

"You know I never will, Chris. Now, I'm right behind you. Come with me, darling. Just like we always do."

And then he spanked my ass twice, and I exploded all over the sofa. He pulled out of me and gingerly lay with me as the come was drying on my nice new leather sofa. He kissed my neck softly and nuzzled it after that.

"We've ruined the sofa."

"True, but it's okay. Now we have to get up before Isabella comes back with the kids. I'll shower first, then change. Then you can. And then we'll run lines."

I nodded, making my way up to the bedroom behind him. This was the best afternoon ever, I wondered what tomorrow would bring!

**A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this! **


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